Many people complain about losing that spark in their relationship. In the beginning, they thought it was something special that would last forever. Now couples are left with being bored and out of touch. This can lead to affairs, divorce or both. Here are some reasons why that happens.
The Chemicals Fade in all relationships after about three months. It is scientifically proven that during the first three months of relationships, the body is filled with hormones that allow us to be attracted to the opposite sex. These sex chemicals are designed to bring two people together to procreate. Testosterone gives us that lusty sex drive. Dopamine allows us to focus on that certain person. In fact some scientists may even argue that love is just a formation of chemicals. They have discovered that high levels of dopamine will enter the reward system of the brain during that initial love phase that will give a person a feeling of euphoria. It’s no wonder why people describe love as a high because it scientifically is.
That being said, there is also a chemical that helps us form attachments as well called oxytocin. This can help people to be monogamous.
It’s no longer cute, can be said by many people in committed relationships. The very behaviors that used to endear them to you are no longer endearing. We may have thought that the way they called their car their “gal” might have been cute, but soon it gets to be one of those things you never want to hear again. A person’s bad habits are not as visible in the first month because we are most of the time interacting with our partner with our reptilian brain, but when we begin to see clearly, we see all their faults.
Resentments that run deep for some couples. Forgetting someone’s birthday can start a string of oversights that the partner begins to notice and does not get over. Many of these stem from miscommunication or expectations that a couple has for each other. Too many resentments will lead to divorce.
Couples no longer sharing activities is another problem that interferes with romance. It is healthy to have your own interests and goals in a relationship, but when you no longer have shared interest that connects the two of you, you can drift away from each other. This happens quite a bit in relationships with children. The children’s interests can take precedence and one or both people are going from event to event with the children and no longer in touch with what used to be just theirs.
Assuming you know everything about your partner kills that mystery and intrigue about them. They become predictable to you and you to them. It is good to get to know each other well and have predictability over drama in a relationship, but too much predictability is boring.
So what do we do about this passion fading? There are some that are addicted to that chemical high from the beginning of the relationship, that just jump from relationship to relationship, but most of us are not wired to have that many highs in our life. Instead there are many things that we can do to ignite that spark that we once had. We just have to continue to seek out those opportunities instead of letting romance slide right out of our lives.